| Closure |
[17 Jun 2006|05:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Paul Taylor - 'Til We Meet Again (SMOOTHJAZZ.COM - The Global Home for the Smoothest Jazz 24/7 - Liv |
] |
Probably going to close this LJ and delete it as well... If I don't delete it I'll just leave it up as an archive to four wasted years and mistakes that should never have been made. It's not as if anyone reads this or cares anyway. ^^; I have a new journal I've made if anyone is interested... Along with a new AIM screen name. If you don't know what they are, then I probably don't want to talk to you or deal with whatever you're bringing along with you. It's nothing personal, but part of changing your life is getting rid of the cause of the problems in it to begin with.
Life's awesome so far. I'd rather not let it slip back into what it was again, and that's all I've got to say about that. It wasn't fun while it lasted.
Time for sleep. Comment if you want to be IN THE KNOW!
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[16 Jun 2006|03:37am] |
| The Keys to Your Heart | 
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
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| I have lived through 158 of these things |
[11 Jun 2006|02:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Richard Marx - Hold On To The Nights |
] |
1. put numbers in the boxes instead of ticking them off with x's. I'm gonna put Xs anyway since I don't want to waste an hour doing this. ^_^
2. repost as "i have lived through ___ of these 158 things."
[X] I have read a lot of books.
[] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping. (I doubt I could do it now though X_x)
[ ] I have been to Canada.
[] I have been to Europe.
[X] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[X] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[X] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[X] I have played ping pong.
[X] I swam in the ocean.
[X] I have been on a whale watch.
[X] I have seen fireworks.
[X] I have seen a shooting star.
[X] I have seen a meteor shower.
[X] I have almost drowned.
[X] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[X] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[] I have had stitches.
[] I have had frostbite.
[] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[X] I have stayed up 'til 2 doing homework/projects
[X] I currently have a job.
[] I have been ice skating.
[X] I have been roller blading.
[X] I have fallen flat on my face.
[X] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[X] I have been in a fist fight.
[X] I have played video games for more than 3 hours straight.
[X] I have watched the Power Rangers.
[] I attend Church regularly.
[X] I have played truth or dare.
[X] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[X] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[X] I've called someone stupid.
[X] I've been in a verbal argument.
[X] I've cried in school.
[] I've played basketball on a team.
[X] I've played baseball on a team.
[] I've played football on a team.
[] I've played soccer on a team.
[] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[] I've played softball on a team.
[] I've played volleyball on a team.
[] I've played tennis on a team.
[] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[X] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[] I've bungee jumped.
[X] I've climbed a rock wall.
[X] I've lost more than $20.
[X] I've called myself an idiot.
[X] I've called someone else an idiot.
[X] I've cried myself to sleep.
[X] I've had (or have) pets.
[] I've owned a spice girls CD.
[] I've owned a Britney Spears CD.
[] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[] I've owned a Backstreet Boys CD.
[X] I've mooned someone.
[X] I have sworn at someone of authority before.
[] I've been in the newspaper.
[042] I've been on TV.
[] I've been to Hawaii.
[] I've eaten sushi.
[] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[] I've watched the 3 Stooges.
[] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[X] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.
[X] I've been called a geek.
[] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[X] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[X] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[X] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[X] I've written poetry.
[X] I've been arrested.
[X] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[X] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[X] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[X] I've had/have siblings.
[X] I've been to a rock concert.
[X] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[X] I've been in a play.
[X] I've been picked last in gym class.
[X] I've been picked first in gym class.
[X] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[X] I've cried in front of my friends.
[X] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages
[] I've played Halo 2.
[] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[] I've been to Alaska.
[] I've been to China.
[] I've been to Spain.
[] I've been to Japan.
[X] I've had a fight with someone on AIM.
[X] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[X] I've had serious conversations on any IM.
[X] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[X] I've been forgiven.
[X] I've screamed at a scary movie.
[X] I've cried at a chick flick.
[X] I've watched a lot of action movies.
[066] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[] I've been to a rap concert.
[] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[X] I've lived in more than 2 houses.
[X] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[X] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[X] I've been in a car accident.
[] I've done drugs.
[X] I've been homesick.
[X] I've thrown up.
[X] I've puked on someone.
[X] I've been horseback riding.
[X] I've filled out more than 10 myspace/LJ surveys.
[X] I've spoken my mind in public.
[X] I've proved someone wrong.
[X] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[] I've broken a leg.
[] I've broken an arm/fingers.
[X] I've fallen off a swing.
[X] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight
[X] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[X] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.
[X] I've lost my backpack.
[X] I've come close to dying.
[] I've seen someone die.
[X] I've known someone who has died.
[X] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.
[X] I've done modeling. 3D modeling, yeah
[X] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[X] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[X] I've realized how good my life is.
[X] I've counted my blessings.
[X] I've made fun of a classmate.
[X] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.
[X] I've slapped someone in the face.
[X] I've been skateboarding.
[X] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[X] I've lied to someone to their face.
[X] I've told a little white lie.
[X] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[] I've fainted.
[X] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[X] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[X] I've been pushed into a pool.
[X] I've been/am in love.
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| WOOHOOHOOBSEIRS! |
[27 May 2006|10:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
EFNet #alkatraz - One Hour Trance Collection |
] |
I got an interview at Embarq yesterday! It was so fucking cool. If I'm hired I get to work in the seventh floor of the old Sprint building in Altamonte Springs - it's got an awesome view of the area. I could probably see my house from up there. Starting pay is $11 an hour, eight weeks of training before they put you on the job. I'll get sales commissions too, and this is all assuming I get hired. Shima told me that starting salary with commissions is usually $45,000 a year for new employees. Not only do I get a kickass view, great pay, and excellent training... I also get a start to a career there.
The bad news? I'm not sure if they're going to hire me just yet, but it looks extremely likely considering I did everything they expected within a very short amount of time and got everything right without asking mock customers for their information more than twice. There was this test I had to take that lasted 10 minutes, you had to take 8 orders from customers within that time period. They're pre-recorded and with my 100 words per minute typing ability, I managed to finish five out of eight within the ten minute period. That's about 65% completed, accurately and quickly. I can't wait to get to work with them, it's an awesome company and they all act like family there.
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| Okay okay Heather I'll do it, don't kill me! |
[26 May 2006|10:08am] |
| [ |
music |
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Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War - The Demon of the Round Table |
] |
Weird habits you have/things you do: Once you are tagged you MUST write an entry about 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next six people to be tagged and list their names.
1. I drink orange juice every night before I go to bed if we have any left. I'm obsessed over vitamin C.
2. I'll click my tongue at weird times of the day while I work on something.
3. I'll read the same magazine or book, over and over, until I find everything I haven't read in it. I can't go on to another magazine or book before I've finished one.
4. I keep everything required for daily life next to my computer. Since I rarely watch TV, I'd keep the fridge in here if I could too.
5. I'll keep touching a sore spot on my body, like a bruise, because it hurts so good to quote Bruce Springsteen. I have no fucking idea why.
6. When I walk someplace, I find myself whistling all kinds of jingles mixed into this mutated song that sounds really good.
boogah boogah and all that jazz. I should update this more often.
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| A Time for Choosing |
[10 May 2006|04:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Tubes - Talk To Ya Later |
] |
Those who would trade our freedom for the soup kitchen of the welfare state have told us they have a utopian solution of peace without victory. They call their policy "accommodation." And they say if we'll only avoid any direct confrontation with the enemy, he'll forget his evil ways and learn to love us. All who oppose them are indicted as warmongers. They say we offer simple answers to complex problems. Well, perhaps there is a simple answer -- not an easy answer -- but simple: If you and I have the courage to tell our elected officials that we want our national policy based on what we know in our hearts is morally right.
We cannot buy our security, our freedom from the threat of the bomb by committing an immorality so great as saying to a billion human beings now enslaved behind the Iron Curtain, "Give up your dreams of freedom because to save our own skins, we're willing to make a deal with your slave masters." Alexander Hamilton said, "A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one." Now let's set the record straight. There's no argument over the choice between peace and war, but there's only one guaranteed way you can have peace -- and you can have it in the next second -- surrender.
Admittedly, there's a risk in any course we follow other than this, but every lesson of history tells us that the greater risk lies in appeasement, and this is the specter our well-meaning liberal friends refuse to face -- that their policy of accommodation is appeasement, and it gives no choice between peace and war, only between fight or surrender. If we continue to accommodate, continue to back and retreat, eventually we have to face the final demand -- the ultimatum. And what then -- when Nikita Khrushchev has told his people he knows what our answer will be? He has told them that we're retreating under the pressure of the Cold War, and someday when the time comes to deliver the final ultimatum, our surrender will be voluntary, because by that time we will have been weakened from within spiritually, morally, and economically. He believes this because from our side he's heard voices pleading for "peace at any price" or "better Red than dead," or as one commentator put it, he'd rather "live on his knees than die on his feet." And therein lies the road to war, because those voices don't speak for the rest of us.
You and I know and do not believe that life is so dear and peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery. If nothing in life is worth dying for, when did this begin -- just in the face of this enemy? Or should Moses have told the children of Israel to live in slavery under the pharaohs? Should Christ have refused the cross? Should the patriots at Concord Bridge have thrown down their guns and refused to fire the shot heard 'round the world? The martyrs of history were not fools, and our honored dead who gave their lives to stop the advance of the Nazis didn't die in vain. Where, then, is the road to peace? Well it's a simple answer after all.
You and I have the courage to say to our enemies, "There is a price we will not pay." "There is a point beyond which they must not advance." And this -- this is the meaning in the phrase of Barry Goldwater's "peace through strength." Winston Churchill said, "The destiny of man is not measured by material computations. When great forces are on the move in the world, we learn we're spirits -- not animals." And he said, "There's something going on in time and space, and beyond time and space, which, whether we like it or not, spells duty."
You and I have a rendezvous with destiny.
We'll preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth, or we'll sentence them to take the last step into a thousand years of darkness.
Ronald Reagan - October 27, 1964
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[10 May 2006|02:20pm] |
| Your Italian Name Is... | 
Saviero Greco |
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[07 May 2006|05:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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A term that comes close to describing what I feel right now has yet to be invented by mankind |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War - Ending Theme |
] |
Someone closer to me - than anyone else will ever be - said this long ago...
Manipulate? Deceive? Those weren't his true feelings...?
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| Back to Florida |
[05 May 2006|02:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War - The Round Table |
] |
I've been back in my home town of Apopka for a week now. To be honest, life isn't that bad. I miss Sarah terribly, though, and that's part of my inspiration for being online less and getting my life sorted out. I've been job searching for seven days straight now... I think I'll end up with Bright House Networks, they bought out Time Warner Cable while I was gone. The bright side? $12 an hour standard pay, free Internet and digital cable... The bad side? I can't think of anything!
Two days after I got home, my father wanted me to visit Rock Springs with him... So off I went. I'll post more photos than just these two, eventually.
http://www.deviantart.com/view/32781625/
http://www.deviantart.com/view/32718705/
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| The Code |
[03 May 2006|11:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War - Glatisant |
] |
The title of a Knight is not given... The Knight proves himself through every trial that Life gives him. The Knight follows the code of honor and pride, and lives to sacrifice himself in service of others. The Knight protects the weak and defeats the strong. A Knight serves the Higher Purpose, the Calling in Life.
Am I a Knight? I wish that were the case. As with all trials, I must prove myself time and time again. I must follow my code of ethics, and live my life for pride and honor. Spare the enemies that cannot fight. Defeat those who can. Show mercy, show kindness, and show honor.
I believe my time will come, and I will prove my worth to be a Knight. I know what my Destiny holds.
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| Notes from meditation tonight... |
[25 Apr 2006|09:45pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Orchestra in My Thoughts |
] |
To have others respect you, respect for yourself must come first and foremost. To love others, you must know how to love yourself. To know is divine. To be is to try. To fail is to lose, and to lose is oblivion.
Respect for oneself must come before any other trial in your life. Cast aside all fears. Respect yourself and others will flock to you. Stand strong and persevere. Those who would doubt you will come to believe you. Stand by the side of those who have hurt you. Time passed will reveal their mistakes, time passed will heal all wounds.
Cast aside the arrow in your heart that manifests your pain. Remove it as you would remove a thought of impurity. Strength to live will aide time in healing your wounds. Stand before your friends, not as a tortured soul... Stand before them as a force, a way of living. Show them who you are, the one that no one else will know. Be there for them when they need you.
Stand tall for her, and do not shame yourself by giving up. Be the man she knew, the knight that protected and sheltered her. Become more than the friend you were. Be there no matter what the cost to yourself. You are one of a kind, a miracle of survival. Wipe away your tears and stand taller than your body allows you to. Climb higher, and take her with you when she asks to come.
Love always, never stop. Never build walls around your heart. Be a true lover, one who loves for the sake of love and not for oneself. Love to give love, love to give happiness. Love to shine the blazing light of purity and strength in a world of wonder and enlightenment. Be there no matter the cost, no matter the pain. The arrows in your heart can always be removed. The arrows in her heart cannot be.
Follow your path. Follow your emotions and your guides. Your feelings tell you the true way through life. Never absolve yourself of the promises you have made. She is there, you are there. Be there always, for she is your goal in life and your true meaning of existence. Build yourself, as it builds her with you. Create the bond of joy and truth that you have longed for since the day you've met her.
Never give in.
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[23 Apr 2006|05:51pm] |
| You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
haha.
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[22 Apr 2006|03:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ace Combat 4: Shattered Skies - Sitting Duck |
] |
| Your Power Level is: 77% | 
You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals. |
Dragon Ball: Z, anyone?
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[16 Apr 2006|12:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
You fit in with:
'Intellectual'
You fit into the highschool intellectual stereotype. You're not really all that popular, but you're not a loner either. You fit somewhere in the middle socially, though you much prefer to do things your own way. You certainly aren't just one of the crowd.
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'What highschool stereotype do you fit in with?' at QuizGalaxy.com
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haha
I don't know if it's true or not, but it's still funny.
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| bleh |
[28 Mar 2006|11:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Sarah's computer behind me playing YMCA!!1 |
] |
I haven't written an update in.. I don't even know how long since I really don't want to open another Opera window to check. I just know it's been a really long time, and it's been rather difficult to deal with a lot of what I'm going through at the moment. Sparing the emotional crap, I'll get to the point eventually.
Sarah and I recently broke up earlier in the month. It wasn't on bad terms, we just realized that we needed to get on our feet in a way that would make it easier on each other in the long run. Maybe we'll get back together, maybe we won't. I just found that relying on anyone but myself for happiness is a childish concept that doesn't solve your emotional issues and frustrations. Whether or not someone is in your life, you're still going to feel bad and upset if something wrong happens to you - I simply block out most of my bad experiences as I've learned it was a vital tool for survival in my earlier years.
We're still really close. I guess you could say that Sarah is more than a friend could ever be. At times I wish we were in love again, but if your heart doesn't feel something then there's no sense in pretending that it does. She's always going to be my best friend no matter what happens. I doubt I'll ever stop loving her, it's one of those things that just seems like it transcends time itself. Maybe it does, but then again that could just be wishful thinking.
So we're going our own separate ways pretty soon, unless something changes. She might be going to Kentucky for college, or staying with her mother to go to college in Indiana. I offered her the opportunity to come down south again with me to Florida. I'll be moving in with my father for a while, in the house I helped build as I grew up. I called him a few days ago, explained the situation I'm in, and he was more than happy to offer me a job working with him making at least $30,000 a year in the family flooring tile business. As an artist, I prefer to work with my heart and mind... But making that much money is well worth the physical labor involved. I'll be attending Full Sail for a degree in game development, then moving on to work for the job I have open at Dynamic Animation Systems - http://www.d-a-s.com
Life isn't bad right now, but it could be better. I discovered a lot about myself while I was up here, a lot about my past, who I am, why I'm here and what my purpose is. Some may call it foolish to be in love for your entire life, even if you're not loved back. Perhaps that's just answering destiny's call and filling the role you were given.
Or, as Al Swearengen would say... "In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another."
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| Roller Skating? |
[01 Mar 2006|12:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Sarah's music in the background |
] |
I took Sarah out to Donato's the other day, it's a pizza place that I wanted to try. It was really good too, although the television would only play NASCAR and its advertisements which really irritated Sarah. I grew up listening to it so it never bothered me that much. We stayed there for about an hour (and are definitely returning again, the food was excellent) until Sarah had the idea that we should head out to Franklin and go to the old roller skating rink she had visited years before we met.
We got there and admission was cheap as hell: $9.50 for both of us, including the skate rental. Man that brought me back to my childhood years... I hadn't been in a skating rink since I went to the Semoran Skateway back in 1991 for some school field trip in elemantary school.
http://www.semoranskateway.com/
I remember playing the original Sonic the Hedgehog arcade game there, and begging for quarters because I was too afraid of hearing "You shouldn't spend money on games" from my father. It was great fun, though... I still remembered how to skate, but I'm too damn tall now and I feel like the slightest offset in balance will knock me over - nowhere near like what it was when I first skated, and could do it without a problem.
It took a while to get up to speed. Sarah and I kept hugging the rails for a good 20 minutes until we got confident enough that we wouldn't get run over by hordes of skaters had we fallen over. I definitely want to go back there again soon, maybe even tomorrow!
After we did that, we headed out to the Dairy Queen - also in Franklin - and then went home. It was a great night out and I can't wait to do it again.
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| Photography? |
[25 Jan 2006|02:12am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Vangelis - Ask the Mountains |
] |
23 January: Too often we take everything for granted, that beauty only exists in what nature herself has created. Beauty, in my eyes, extends further than the natural, but also what stems from the natural. A sign on a street has its own charm and, were it able to talk, would be able to tell you many stories since the day it was erected. A power line, although seen by many as an intrusion into the world of nature - or just flat out ignored as people continue on in their daily lives, is no less beautiful than a two hundred year old tree. It supports life and helps create it. Without the help of the power line, our existence as we know it would be redefined in ways that are hard to begin imagining... It holds the weight of the world on its metal shoulders, but never falters.
Taken with an Olympus C7070WZ with a 52mm linear polarizer filter attached to the lens extension tube.
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| Valentine's Day |
[23 Jan 2006|02:56am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sarah's computer in the background |
] |
Is coming up soon. I wonder if Sarah knows what she's getting this year. I certainly won't tell her but I love dropping hints everywhere. I plan on spending as much as I can this year on her - I'm hoping she'll appreciate it. If not, well, there's always next year.
I know several ways of showing her how much I care. It all depends on whether or not she'll see it!
I get back to work again on Tuesday with Kroger's delicatessen department. It'll work out better than Subway did - $0.05 more than I got there, better hours, benefits, etc... The only disadvantage is that union crap. I'm too used to working for myself down south where we don't have unions, nor do we need them.
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| ... |
[06 Jan 2006|01:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War - Ancient Walls |
] |
I'm in love with this song. I just can't stop listening to it... The orchestra is hauntingly beautiful throughout the entire composition.
http://bluelaguna.net/downloads/mp3s/acombat5ost/cd%202/15%20Ancient%20Walls.mp3
Take a listen and post your thoughts. It brings back a lot, yet obscures so little at the same time. Properly composed game music is an art form these days, a treasure you should keep and remember.
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| New Layout |
[29 Dec 2005|09:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
Sarah made me a new layout earlier today. It works great and I really like it.
So anyway: Updates on life so far. I quit my job and found a new one. Going to college ASAP as well. Probably going to major in computer graphics since I have enough years as an artist to ace the classes easily... Might as well get a degree to confirm it.
Indiana is better than I expected... The only gripe I have is how idiots love to drive extremely slow in snow conditions so we're stuck in a car for seven hours trying to get home on I-65 from Indianapolis. Other than the occasional snowstorm (I love snow, just not being stuck outside on the road in it) it's really nice up here. The cost of living is extremely low, too - at least compared to Florida.
We are moving back to Florida eventually. It's my birthplace and I refuse to leave it for more than a few years at a time, especially since my father is giving me the house I worked on and improved for years with him... I can't wait to have it, but I don't know when he's giving it up. I'm hoping it'll be soon, since I own it just as much as he does.
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aircraftkiller's journal